Last month I turned 24, before that I applied for a fellowship, I am going to one of Trevor Noah’s stand-up shows this fall, and I am still trying to move away from home and people who are experts at taking care of me. I know there’s so much life out there—people to meet and understand, things to learn and try, places to go and imagine—and I know (trust me, I know) that so much of this life I can live, despite my disabled body and consequent limitations. The fact that I can is really easy to think, but just so hard to believe.
A popular therapeutic adage states that one must want to change in order to change. I think we forgot a clause that is necessary to make this a true and good piece of advice, therapeutic or not. The resulting statement is, I believe, applicable to any goal, and is as follows: You must believe that you can reach your goal before you want that something enough to make it happen.
This new-and-improved adage is something I’ve thought of while uncomfortably, (yet with no intention of moving), in the middle of some family drama. In short, almost everybody on both sides of my family is too stubborn to even think that anyone can change; and ergo, no one ever will.
Mind you, I am very likely the last person who wants this to be the case. And predictably [of my character and of this post], I choose not to believe that it will be.